FROM: Banbury, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom
ABOUT ME: Living the highs and lows of life in the adventurous pursuit of God Himself and of who I'm meant to be as the Bride of Christ.
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Friday, May 13, 2011,8:12 p.m.
NOT SURPRISED
I had a thought tonight that makes allowing God to have control of the future even when I don't know what's going on a little bit easier.
As someone who is trying very hard to be comfortable not being in control of the future all the time and simply live each day as it comes, I still often find it difficult to let go of that innate sense of insecurity when facing the unknown. I hate the unknown. I don't like not knowing what's coming in the future, I don't like not knowing what a social event will look like before I get there and I really hate getting lost - not knowing where I am or how to get home.
I was thinking tonight about how comforting a thought it is that God is never surprised. A little while ago I wrestled with giving over my need to control my life, and the idea that God sees the entire picture - past, present and future - while I see only a limited part of that view, helped enormously with my willingness to recognize His superiority when it comes to planning and decisions. ("Duh" might be the appropriate response to that, of course, but hey, I'm in process.) Then this afternoon a situation arose that caused me to panic and, unfortunately, my first thought was to figure out all the possible directions the near future could go and how I might respond to each twist in the road. Thank heavens for the Holy Spirit, who with a gentle nudge reminded me of my wish to have that pattern of control - which so far has suffered from a most consistent record of failure - changed.
I realized as I thought about it, that God already knows what the near future will hold. That is all part of His 'being able to see the big picture' thing. And the fact that He sees it all means He already knew I was going to be faced with this situation today. And by consequence, He already knows what the impact of it will have on the future. So the truly wisest thing I could possibly do is to maintain my course of simply listening and following. He already knew what would happen - it didn't surprise Him like it did me. To follow that thought through to completion is to realize that I don't have to worry, no matter what actually happens. Oddly ironic is the next thought, which whispers that I ought to worry a great deal more when I choose to try and control things myself, since I will most likely throw God's plan off the rails and wind up in a terrible mess. What would have been an attempt to stay safe no-matter-what might actually create a situation where I am utterly vulnerable and then suffer in some way.
God is never surprised. To me, that knowledge finally feels like the spreading of that giant wing under which I feel safe.
As someone who is trying very hard to be comfortable not being in control of the future all the time and simply live each day as it comes, I still often find it difficult to let go of that innate sense of insecurity when facing the unknown. I hate the unknown. I don't like not knowing what's coming in the future, I don't like not knowing what a social event will look like before I get there and I really hate getting lost - not knowing where I am or how to get home.
I was thinking tonight about how comforting a thought it is that God is never surprised. A little while ago I wrestled with giving over my need to control my life, and the idea that God sees the entire picture - past, present and future - while I see only a limited part of that view, helped enormously with my willingness to recognize His superiority when it comes to planning and decisions. ("Duh" might be the appropriate response to that, of course, but hey, I'm in process.) Then this afternoon a situation arose that caused me to panic and, unfortunately, my first thought was to figure out all the possible directions the near future could go and how I might respond to each twist in the road. Thank heavens for the Holy Spirit, who with a gentle nudge reminded me of my wish to have that pattern of control - which so far has suffered from a most consistent record of failure - changed.
I realized as I thought about it, that God already knows what the near future will hold. That is all part of His 'being able to see the big picture' thing. And the fact that He sees it all means He already knew I was going to be faced with this situation today. And by consequence, He already knows what the impact of it will have on the future. So the truly wisest thing I could possibly do is to maintain my course of simply listening and following. He already knew what would happen - it didn't surprise Him like it did me. To follow that thought through to completion is to realize that I don't have to worry, no matter what actually happens. Oddly ironic is the next thought, which whispers that I ought to worry a great deal more when I choose to try and control things myself, since I will most likely throw God's plan off the rails and wind up in a terrible mess. What would have been an attempt to stay safe no-matter-what might actually create a situation where I am utterly vulnerable and then suffer in some way.
God is never surprised. To me, that knowledge finally feels like the spreading of that giant wing under which I feel safe.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
(Proverbs 3:5-6)
He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
(Psalm 91:4)
