FROM: Banbury, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom
ABOUT ME: Living the highs and lows of life in the adventurous pursuit of God Himself and of who I'm meant to be as the Bride of Christ.
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Wednesday, October 31, 2007,7:21 p.m.
CAN WE MAKE THE DAY 58 HOURS?
Quick re-cap of life at Casa Baker these days:
Working about a 75-hour work week, on average
BEHIND at work nonetheless
Haven't seen most of my friends in about three months
Hoping I still have aforementioned friends!
Got an eviction notice today (after two years of open houses, the apartment that I rent finally sold)
Have to be out by December 31st - a mere 5 days after Christmas and only 9 days after the end of Christmas season as a high school music teacher
(Pretty sure that Scrooge himself timed the eviction notice)
And oh yes - I'll have been in Kiev (Ukraine) for 4 days by then, so I guess I'll have to be out even sooner than that
Somewhere in all of that are report cards, packing to move and packing for Kiev. Finding a place to live, rehearsals for the Kiev performance, admin for the high school music concert, marking a billion assignments and short- and long-term planning for all my classes and for the worship K-12. Add to that the fact that many people I love are also going through hard times and it's not (nor should it nor can it be) always about me and you might have a decent snapshot of Casa Baker just now.
And though much of this is tongue-in-cheek, I am sure you will sense that it is almost unnecessary for me to say that I desperately need your prayers (whether you know me personally or not), as I'm almost certain it is a physical impossibility to do all of these things in the 24 hours allotted to each day.
If you do know me personally, you may guess what my mental/emotional state is at the moment.
And if you've noticed that I'm missing any personal time with Jesus, listening prayer for the school and ministry time in my home congregation, you're very astute. I didn't just forget to write it. It's not there. And the lack of intimate personal time is what is grieving me the most. It deeply grieves me personally and it affects me in ministry as I begin to lead from a place of memory instead of experience. It is unsustainable.
I know that I rarely write about my own personal emotional state here. Perhaps the fact that I have will add weight to the following request:
Please pray.
Working about a 75-hour work week, on average
BEHIND at work nonetheless
Haven't seen most of my friends in about three months
Hoping I still have aforementioned friends!
Got an eviction notice today (after two years of open houses, the apartment that I rent finally sold)
Have to be out by December 31st - a mere 5 days after Christmas and only 9 days after the end of Christmas season as a high school music teacher
(Pretty sure that Scrooge himself timed the eviction notice)
And oh yes - I'll have been in Kiev (Ukraine) for 4 days by then, so I guess I'll have to be out even sooner than that
Somewhere in all of that are report cards, packing to move and packing for Kiev. Finding a place to live, rehearsals for the Kiev performance, admin for the high school music concert, marking a billion assignments and short- and long-term planning for all my classes and for the worship K-12. Add to that the fact that many people I love are also going through hard times and it's not (nor should it nor can it be) always about me and you might have a decent snapshot of Casa Baker just now.
And though much of this is tongue-in-cheek, I am sure you will sense that it is almost unnecessary for me to say that I desperately need your prayers (whether you know me personally or not), as I'm almost certain it is a physical impossibility to do all of these things in the 24 hours allotted to each day.
If you do know me personally, you may guess what my mental/emotional state is at the moment.
And if you've noticed that I'm missing any personal time with Jesus, listening prayer for the school and ministry time in my home congregation, you're very astute. I didn't just forget to write it. It's not there. And the lack of intimate personal time is what is grieving me the most. It deeply grieves me personally and it affects me in ministry as I begin to lead from a place of memory instead of experience. It is unsustainable.
I know that I rarely write about my own personal emotional state here. Perhaps the fact that I have will add weight to the following request:
Please pray.
Sunday, October 21, 2007,10:05 p.m.
ISAIAH 55
I've been into this new thing just lately where I go to a church service and while I'm on my way there, I pray that God will drop even just one thing into my spirit. More is better, but I don't want to leave without grasping even one small prophetic truth about who He is, or who I am, or what He's saying.
Last week it was that God gives us the desire and the power to do what pleases Him. This weekend has been one of those times where a certain scripture keeps coming up, and that's Isaiah 55:8-11:
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."
It's been a big scripture for me for some time already. Then it came up in my flipping through the Bible yesterday. Then a friend posted part of it as a comment last night on my previous blog. Then tonight it was the subject of the preach.
When these types of series of events happen, they are likely an indicator that there is something to reflect on and listen to.
So I am off to reflect....
Last week it was that God gives us the desire and the power to do what pleases Him. This weekend has been one of those times where a certain scripture keeps coming up, and that's Isaiah 55:8-11:
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."
It's been a big scripture for me for some time already. Then it came up in my flipping through the Bible yesterday. Then a friend posted part of it as a comment last night on my previous blog. Then tonight it was the subject of the preach.
When these types of series of events happen, they are likely an indicator that there is something to reflect on and listen to.
So I am off to reflect....
Saturday, October 20, 2007,4:56 p.m.
DEEP WITHIN
Has there ever been anything deep in you that doesn't seem to have a place but is there anyway? I have a few of those things, and some are deeper than others. This is one of those things: Anything and everything to do with antique furniture. Buying, selling, restoration (especially), and just generally knowing all there is to know about the woods, the ages, the finish, the manufacturers, and the styles is something that I deeply want to know more about.
I did find a two-year program that offered what looked like a good, solid, recognized education in antique restoration. Guess where it was?
Edinburgh, Scotland.
Hmmmm....
There's another deep thing....
I did find a two-year program that offered what looked like a good, solid, recognized education in antique restoration. Guess where it was?
Edinburgh, Scotland.
Hmmmm....
There's another deep thing....
(The picture on the very top of this page is Edinburgh.)
Sunday, October 14, 2007,9:10 p.m.
DESIRE AND POWER
I prayed that tonight at our church meeting God would have something from His voice especially impact me. This is what it was:
For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him.
(Philippians 2:13, NLT)
He not only gives us the power, He can give us the desire, too. Or the desire to even have the desire to do what's right in the first place. Cool. I want more desire. I want more power to execute the desires.
O God, give me the DESIRE and POWER to read and know Your Word more.
Give me the DESIRE and POWER to be a more pure worshipper of which You are worthy.
Give me the DESIRE and POWER to seek first the things of Your Kingdom alone.
Give me the DESIRE and POWER to please You in everything I am and think and do.
Thursday, October 11, 2007,8:08 p.m.
NOT FORGOTTEN
Sometimes when we need it most, God speaks directly to us. For me, it is often through a CD or the radio, whatever the song, Christian or secular. This morning these words played out on my way to work. May they feed your spirit.
I am not forgotten
I am not forgotten
I am not forgotten
God knows my name
I am not forgotten
Never forsaken
God knows my name
He knows my name
Be blessed.
But Zion said, "The Lord has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me."
"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.
(Isaiah 49:13-16)
I am not forgotten
I am not forgotten
I am not forgotten
God knows my name
I am not forgotten
Never forsaken
God knows my name
He knows my name
Be blessed.
Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth; burst into song, O mountains! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.
But Zion said, "The Lord has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me."
"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.
(Isaiah 49:13-16)
(Lyrics are from "Not Forgotten" by Israel Houghton)
Sunday, October 07, 2007,8:41 p.m.
SIN IS ALWAYS SEEN
I've been somewhat disturbed lately to hear, more than once, an opinion that sin is OK if it's not discovered.
Granted, those expressing this opinion would probably not have stated it quite so baldly, but this is what I am hearing nonetheless. It tends to fall into the category of "It's OK to break the rules as long as you don't get caught."
Where does it end? Is it OK to speed if you don't get caught and receive a ticket? Is it OK to rob a bank as long as you don't get caught and jailed? Is it OK to murder, just so long as you aren't caught and arrested and tried by the courts?
I realize that the difference between illegal jaywalking and murder are significantly different in the eyes of the courts, but are they so very different in the core of our hearts if we are committing them deliberately? Believing that sin is permissible for any reason is a dangerous thought pattern to fall into, since it eliminates the integrity and character that we are called to develop as Believers. Worse, in my opinion, it breaks the heart of our holy God, who cannot abide sin. I cannot imagine what He must experience to have to watch it be an integral part of His children's lives.
We are called to be like Christ. It is not expected that we wear a mask of perfection, nor is there no room for mistakes. This is what grace is for. We are, however, expected to make decisions that honour the name of God. We represent His name - what a glorious and humbling call!
Why wait for someone to "catch you" sinning before you decide to live a life of integrity? This is not the high calling we have received as Believers. Yes, God is a God of justice, but it is not the fear of punishment that I am suggesting we live by. Instead, passion for the Father should be what motivates us to live a life that would bring Him pleasure above all.
Granted, those expressing this opinion would probably not have stated it quite so baldly, but this is what I am hearing nonetheless. It tends to fall into the category of "It's OK to break the rules as long as you don't get caught."
Where does it end? Is it OK to speed if you don't get caught and receive a ticket? Is it OK to rob a bank as long as you don't get caught and jailed? Is it OK to murder, just so long as you aren't caught and arrested and tried by the courts?
I realize that the difference between illegal jaywalking and murder are significantly different in the eyes of the courts, but are they so very different in the core of our hearts if we are committing them deliberately? Believing that sin is permissible for any reason is a dangerous thought pattern to fall into, since it eliminates the integrity and character that we are called to develop as Believers. Worse, in my opinion, it breaks the heart of our holy God, who cannot abide sin. I cannot imagine what He must experience to have to watch it be an integral part of His children's lives.
We are called to be like Christ. It is not expected that we wear a mask of perfection, nor is there no room for mistakes. This is what grace is for. We are, however, expected to make decisions that honour the name of God. We represent His name - what a glorious and humbling call!
Why wait for someone to "catch you" sinning before you decide to live a life of integrity? This is not the high calling we have received as Believers. Yes, God is a God of justice, but it is not the fear of punishment that I am suggesting we live by. Instead, passion for the Father should be what motivates us to live a life that would bring Him pleasure above all.