FROM: Banbury, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom
ABOUT ME: Living the highs and lows of life in the adventurous pursuit of God Himself and of who I'm meant to be as the Bride of Christ.
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Monday, March 31, 2008,9:44 p.m.
THEOLOGICAL GENIUS
I changed theology today.
It's not as hard as it sounds, really. I was simply directing one of my choirs and having them attempt a piece of music from memory. I was shouting the words to the second verse just ahead of them singing them, since they did not know the second verse as well as the first.
The words beautifully say that God is our sun and shield. Unfortunately as I was directing, singing parts and giving them their words ahead of time, this beautiful truth became "God is our SIN and shield."
I think it was their laughter that first tipped me off I had said something weird. Or maybe the looks on their faces.
Oh well, at least they have had enough Bible classes and Sunday School to know that what I said was wrong. Can you imagine the parent phone calls about the heretical worship teacher at the Christian school otherwise? Definitely not good.
Not good, but pretty darn funny.
It's not as hard as it sounds, really. I was simply directing one of my choirs and having them attempt a piece of music from memory. I was shouting the words to the second verse just ahead of them singing them, since they did not know the second verse as well as the first.
The words beautifully say that God is our sun and shield. Unfortunately as I was directing, singing parts and giving them their words ahead of time, this beautiful truth became "God is our SIN and shield."
I think it was their laughter that first tipped me off I had said something weird. Or maybe the looks on their faces.
Oh well, at least they have had enough Bible classes and Sunday School to know that what I said was wrong. Can you imagine the parent phone calls about the heretical worship teacher at the Christian school otherwise? Definitely not good.
Not good, but pretty darn funny.
Saturday, March 29, 2008,11:01 a.m.
FAITH AND THE FAITHFUL ONE
I have never really understood from my own human perspective why Elijah, after seeing God's power defeat 450 prophets of Baal and 400 prophets of Asherah, became scared when Jezebel declared that she intended to kill him for it. She was one woman, against a God who had caused the defeat of 950 pagan prophets with one act. And though Elijah was also just one man, he was one who knew that God had spoken and that he was on God's side - the side that held all the power.
One some level I suppose I understand - the attack was from the enemy, of whom the woman was only a tool, albeit a powerful one. It is human second-guessing to fear an doubt after witnessing of the power and promise of God. But I'm not certain I have ever really understood it why such a man with such a relationship with God would do that.
Then recently I recognized that I have had experiences in my own life where I have heard the word of the Lord and witnessed the fruit and confirmation of these words of His. In some cases I have walked through believing in promises and blessings for years and seen much fruit. But then when one potentially damaging thing happens - or one thing that seems to negate the things about which God has spoken so clearly - I doubt. I fear. And I am disappointed.
It is the disappointment that struck me recently. I am disappointed, as if my own human understanding of what has happened is the reality of what will happen. God is GOD. He is IT. And frankly, I am almost ashamed that my own weak human understanding can shake the things that I believe about God's faithfulness. It is, in fact, a deplorable lack of faith on my part. Doesn't Jesus Himself say, "Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." (John 20:29) It makes me want to cry out, "I believe; help my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24) It makes me wonder how many times I have leaned back on what I myself understand instead of the things God has so clearly said in His Word. It concerns me that as a worshipper - one who desires to bring pleasure to God - that I may not be doing so, since He has said, "...without faith it is impossible to please [God], for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him." (Hebrews 11:6)
It almost feels tumultuous to think of these things, but isn't that what "wrestling through our faith" is all about? Isn't asking questions and seeking truth part of gaining a better understanding of God and therefore a better understanding of ourselves and how to please Him?
I feel a little like I've been reading too much philosophy lately, and perhaps I am truly overthinking things. But the faith issue.... It's big. We are human. So was Elijah. But God is so big that he can send fire from heaven on a water-soaked offering just to make His point.
Lord, I believe, in everything that You are and everything that is said about You and that You say.
Help me in my unbelief.
One some level I suppose I understand - the attack was from the enemy, of whom the woman was only a tool, albeit a powerful one. It is human second-guessing to fear an doubt after witnessing of the power and promise of God. But I'm not certain I have ever really understood it why such a man with such a relationship with God would do that.
Then recently I recognized that I have had experiences in my own life where I have heard the word of the Lord and witnessed the fruit and confirmation of these words of His. In some cases I have walked through believing in promises and blessings for years and seen much fruit. But then when one potentially damaging thing happens - or one thing that seems to negate the things about which God has spoken so clearly - I doubt. I fear. And I am disappointed.
It is the disappointment that struck me recently. I am disappointed, as if my own human understanding of what has happened is the reality of what will happen. God is GOD. He is IT. And frankly, I am almost ashamed that my own weak human understanding can shake the things that I believe about God's faithfulness. It is, in fact, a deplorable lack of faith on my part. Doesn't Jesus Himself say, "Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." (John 20:29) It makes me want to cry out, "I believe; help my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24) It makes me wonder how many times I have leaned back on what I myself understand instead of the things God has so clearly said in His Word. It concerns me that as a worshipper - one who desires to bring pleasure to God - that I may not be doing so, since He has said, "...without faith it is impossible to please [God], for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him." (Hebrews 11:6)
It almost feels tumultuous to think of these things, but isn't that what "wrestling through our faith" is all about? Isn't asking questions and seeking truth part of gaining a better understanding of God and therefore a better understanding of ourselves and how to please Him?
I feel a little like I've been reading too much philosophy lately, and perhaps I am truly overthinking things. But the faith issue.... It's big. We are human. So was Elijah. But God is so big that he can send fire from heaven on a water-soaked offering just to make His point.
Lord, I believe, in everything that You are and everything that is said about You and that You say.
Help me in my unbelief.
Sunday, March 23, 2008,4:10 p.m.
JANE AND JESUS
I'm sure my close friends already know this about me, but I am going to come right out and say that I am a hopeless romantic. I love romance. Real romance, not what Hollywood and our sex-crazed, lust-filled culture calls romance. The old-fashioned kind of romance is where it's at for me. Like Jane Austen novels. I love classic literature anyway, all different kinds, but somehow Jane Austen (and the like) just does it for me.
For example, in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, the main male character sacrifices a great deal of money and probably self-respect to ensure that the main female character's sister - who has run off and is living in sin with a young man - is respectably married. Now, back in the early 19th century, if one sister had "fallen" and chosen to live in sin, it reflected badly on the upbringing of all the sisters, and no respectable man could ever marry any of them. Mr. Darcy was so in love with Elizabeth Bennett that he did everything in his power to ensure that he still had the opportunity of being with her.
I got thinking about that story and about Jesus, today on Easter Sunday. I have a possibly erroneous tendency to think of the cross as a kind of "group rate" sort of redemption, but the truth is that Jesus was thinking of each one individually of us as He chose the way of the cross. It cost Him a great sacrifice and much self-respect, and the truth of the matter is that it was the only way He could be with us. The difference between Jesus and Mr. Darcy of Pride and Prejudice is simply this: it wasn't my sister that sinned and I was suffering for it, it was me myself that was living in sin.
What a different story it would have been had Jane Austen chosen to write that Mr. Darcy did everything in his power to ensure that he could marry Lydia, the fallen sister, instead of Elizabeth, the one who was affected through none of her own faults. It would be much closer to the truth of my story with Jesus. It reminds me of a story about a couple names Hosea and Gomer....
What a rescue. What a sacrifice. What incredible love that knowing everything we have done and would do, Jesus chose the cross. The only way. A passionate, romantic, desperate way to have us close to Him. But in all that, not unreasonable. Not unthinking. Purely rational, but still purely sacrificial.
Ah, Jane, your stories are good, but there is still one that is better....
For example, in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, the main male character sacrifices a great deal of money and probably self-respect to ensure that the main female character's sister - who has run off and is living in sin with a young man - is respectably married. Now, back in the early 19th century, if one sister had "fallen" and chosen to live in sin, it reflected badly on the upbringing of all the sisters, and no respectable man could ever marry any of them. Mr. Darcy was so in love with Elizabeth Bennett that he did everything in his power to ensure that he still had the opportunity of being with her.
I got thinking about that story and about Jesus, today on Easter Sunday. I have a possibly erroneous tendency to think of the cross as a kind of "group rate" sort of redemption, but the truth is that Jesus was thinking of each one individually of us as He chose the way of the cross. It cost Him a great sacrifice and much self-respect, and the truth of the matter is that it was the only way He could be with us. The difference between Jesus and Mr. Darcy of Pride and Prejudice is simply this: it wasn't my sister that sinned and I was suffering for it, it was me myself that was living in sin.
What a different story it would have been had Jane Austen chosen to write that Mr. Darcy did everything in his power to ensure that he could marry Lydia, the fallen sister, instead of Elizabeth, the one who was affected through none of her own faults. It would be much closer to the truth of my story with Jesus. It reminds me of a story about a couple names Hosea and Gomer....
What a rescue. What a sacrifice. What incredible love that knowing everything we have done and would do, Jesus chose the cross. The only way. A passionate, romantic, desperate way to have us close to Him. But in all that, not unreasonable. Not unthinking. Purely rational, but still purely sacrificial.
Ah, Jane, your stories are good, but there is still one that is better....
Monday, March 17, 2008,8:04 p.m.
I AM AN ANTIQUE (SORT OF.....)
My life is not my own.
I have known that for a long time, but last night at church I heard that message again. My life is not my own. I belong to God. Not just as a possession, though I am that - I was bought expensively. Not just as a creation, though I am that as well - I was made carefully and thoughtfully. Not just as one obligated by His actions, though I am that most certainly, as well as motivated by deep love.
But I also belong to God as a treasure. I am something that He bought not just because I was pathetic and needed to be rescued and cleaned up; I was bought because He treasured me, even before I was cleaned up.
If you know me at all, you know that I adore antique furniture. One of the great confusions of my life is how I ended up with friends who almost all exclusively adore Ikea. Don't get me wrong - Ikea is great - but personally I love antique styles, the rich patina of real wood as it ages, the carefully hand-done workmanship of each piece, and the fact that at this point in its life, each piece is thoroughly unique. When I wander the antique stores, I don't just look for something that will be functional in the space in which it will live (though it is part of what I look for), I actually wait to purchase until I fall in love with something that I just can't walk by. When I bring it home (often still expensive even though it might not look all that great at the time), I take great care and enjoyment in cleaning it up, fixing things that are broken or loose, and in general doing whatever I know how to do to restore the piece to what the craftsman originally intended it to look like. And once I have done all that, the piece is not only restored, it is mine, both by purchase and also by what I have poured into it.
I think that's a pretty decent picture of what our lives are before God. Purchased - most expensively, with blood. Restored - He works on us until we are what we were created to be. Adored - He fell in love with us long before we ever walked this earth. Unique. Enjoyed. Functional. Loved.
My life is not my own. I belong to the Lord. Hallelujah - I'm so, so glad.
If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. (Romans 14:8)
PS - People are still adding things to the March 7th post about revelation of God. Keep checking back - keep adding to it!
I have known that for a long time, but last night at church I heard that message again. My life is not my own. I belong to God. Not just as a possession, though I am that - I was bought expensively. Not just as a creation, though I am that as well - I was made carefully and thoughtfully. Not just as one obligated by His actions, though I am that most certainly, as well as motivated by deep love.
But I also belong to God as a treasure. I am something that He bought not just because I was pathetic and needed to be rescued and cleaned up; I was bought because He treasured me, even before I was cleaned up.
If you know me at all, you know that I adore antique furniture. One of the great confusions of my life is how I ended up with friends who almost all exclusively adore Ikea. Don't get me wrong - Ikea is great - but personally I love antique styles, the rich patina of real wood as it ages, the carefully hand-done workmanship of each piece, and the fact that at this point in its life, each piece is thoroughly unique. When I wander the antique stores, I don't just look for something that will be functional in the space in which it will live (though it is part of what I look for), I actually wait to purchase until I fall in love with something that I just can't walk by. When I bring it home (often still expensive even though it might not look all that great at the time), I take great care and enjoyment in cleaning it up, fixing things that are broken or loose, and in general doing whatever I know how to do to restore the piece to what the craftsman originally intended it to look like. And once I have done all that, the piece is not only restored, it is mine, both by purchase and also by what I have poured into it.
I think that's a pretty decent picture of what our lives are before God. Purchased - most expensively, with blood. Restored - He works on us until we are what we were created to be. Adored - He fell in love with us long before we ever walked this earth. Unique. Enjoyed. Functional. Loved.
My life is not my own. I belong to the Lord. Hallelujah - I'm so, so glad.
If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. (Romans 14:8)
PS - People are still adding things to the March 7th post about revelation of God. Keep checking back - keep adding to it!
Thursday, March 13, 2008,9:23 p.m.
THE PURPOSE OF PAIN
I was lying on the floor tonight listening to Rita Springer and she sang this line:
It got me thinking about pain. Specifically, the purpose of pain. Granted, some pain that we endure is nothing less than a direct result of the sin in which we have chosen to engage. But not all pain is the result of sin. Some pain is simply the result of our living in a broken world with other broken people.
Along those lines, I began to ponder what the purpose of pain is. And I began to wonder if it is allowed into our lives firstly to draw us closer into intimacy and dependency on the Father. And secondly, to bring glory to God.
For either outcome, I will gladly endure a little pain. Perhaps if I focus more on what purpose my pain could accomplish, I might be more able to endure the pain when it comes.
PS - To all those who have commented below on the March 7th blog - thank you! There are many suggestions there that I plan on using. (Thanks especially to those of you who rarely or never comment - your taking the time is just a little more special because I know you never do it.) If you have not commented below, please do! Thanks!
You hold on to all my pain
And with it You are pulling me closer
And pulling me into your ways
(from "Worth It All" - Effortless album)
It got me thinking about pain. Specifically, the purpose of pain. Granted, some pain that we endure is nothing less than a direct result of the sin in which we have chosen to engage. But not all pain is the result of sin. Some pain is simply the result of our living in a broken world with other broken people.
Along those lines, I began to ponder what the purpose of pain is. And I began to wonder if it is allowed into our lives firstly to draw us closer into intimacy and dependency on the Father. And secondly, to bring glory to God.
For either outcome, I will gladly endure a little pain. Perhaps if I focus more on what purpose my pain could accomplish, I might be more able to endure the pain when it comes.
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth,
for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away,
and the sea was no more.
And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem,
coming down out of heaven from God,
prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying,
"Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man.
He will dwell with them, and they will be his people,
and God himself will be with them as their God.
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes,
and death shall be no more,
neither shall there be mourning,
nor crying,
nor pain anymore,
for the former things have passed away."
(Revelation 21:1-4)
PS - To all those who have commented below on the March 7th blog - thank you! There are many suggestions there that I plan on using. (Thanks especially to those of you who rarely or never comment - your taking the time is just a little more special because I know you never do it.) If you have not commented below, please do! Thanks!
Friday, March 07, 2008,10:16 p.m.
NO, SERIOUSLY....
OK, all you good friends of mine that I know read this blog and NEVER comment, I really was wondering where other people find revelation of God. I want to be able to search for it everywhere, and the thought that maybe a few answers from others might spur on my thoughts and expand my worship motivated that last blog. I left it up for a while, but now figure you might need another invitation.
So tell me for real, where is it that you guys find impacting, truthful revelation of God? Where do you see Him? How do you experience Him? Where have you done so in the past?
Come on, don't leave me hanging.....
:)
So tell me for real, where is it that you guys find impacting, truthful revelation of God? Where do you see Him? How do you experience Him? Where have you done so in the past?
Come on, don't leave me hanging.....
:)