FROM: Banbury, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom
ABOUT ME: Living the highs and lows of life in the adventurous pursuit of God Himself and of who I'm meant to be as the Bride of Christ.
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Saturday, March 29, 2008,11:01 a.m.
FAITH AND THE FAITHFUL ONE
I have never really understood from my own human perspective why Elijah, after seeing God's power defeat 450 prophets of Baal and 400 prophets of Asherah, became scared when Jezebel declared that she intended to kill him for it. She was one woman, against a God who had caused the defeat of 950 pagan prophets with one act. And though Elijah was also just one man, he was one who knew that God had spoken and that he was on God's side - the side that held all the power.
One some level I suppose I understand - the attack was from the enemy, of whom the woman was only a tool, albeit a powerful one. It is human second-guessing to fear an doubt after witnessing of the power and promise of God. But I'm not certain I have ever really understood it why such a man with such a relationship with God would do that.
Then recently I recognized that I have had experiences in my own life where I have heard the word of the Lord and witnessed the fruit and confirmation of these words of His. In some cases I have walked through believing in promises and blessings for years and seen much fruit. But then when one potentially damaging thing happens - or one thing that seems to negate the things about which God has spoken so clearly - I doubt. I fear. And I am disappointed.
It is the disappointment that struck me recently. I am disappointed, as if my own human understanding of what has happened is the reality of what will happen. God is GOD. He is IT. And frankly, I am almost ashamed that my own weak human understanding can shake the things that I believe about God's faithfulness. It is, in fact, a deplorable lack of faith on my part. Doesn't Jesus Himself say, "Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." (John 20:29) It makes me want to cry out, "I believe; help my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24) It makes me wonder how many times I have leaned back on what I myself understand instead of the things God has so clearly said in His Word. It concerns me that as a worshipper - one who desires to bring pleasure to God - that I may not be doing so, since He has said, "...without faith it is impossible to please [God], for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him." (Hebrews 11:6)
It almost feels tumultuous to think of these things, but isn't that what "wrestling through our faith" is all about? Isn't asking questions and seeking truth part of gaining a better understanding of God and therefore a better understanding of ourselves and how to please Him?
I feel a little like I've been reading too much philosophy lately, and perhaps I am truly overthinking things. But the faith issue.... It's big. We are human. So was Elijah. But God is so big that he can send fire from heaven on a water-soaked offering just to make His point.
Lord, I believe, in everything that You are and everything that is said about You and that You say.
Help me in my unbelief.
One some level I suppose I understand - the attack was from the enemy, of whom the woman was only a tool, albeit a powerful one. It is human second-guessing to fear an doubt after witnessing of the power and promise of God. But I'm not certain I have ever really understood it why such a man with such a relationship with God would do that.
Then recently I recognized that I have had experiences in my own life where I have heard the word of the Lord and witnessed the fruit and confirmation of these words of His. In some cases I have walked through believing in promises and blessings for years and seen much fruit. But then when one potentially damaging thing happens - or one thing that seems to negate the things about which God has spoken so clearly - I doubt. I fear. And I am disappointed.
It is the disappointment that struck me recently. I am disappointed, as if my own human understanding of what has happened is the reality of what will happen. God is GOD. He is IT. And frankly, I am almost ashamed that my own weak human understanding can shake the things that I believe about God's faithfulness. It is, in fact, a deplorable lack of faith on my part. Doesn't Jesus Himself say, "Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." (John 20:29) It makes me want to cry out, "I believe; help my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24) It makes me wonder how many times I have leaned back on what I myself understand instead of the things God has so clearly said in His Word. It concerns me that as a worshipper - one who desires to bring pleasure to God - that I may not be doing so, since He has said, "...without faith it is impossible to please [God], for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him." (Hebrews 11:6)
It almost feels tumultuous to think of these things, but isn't that what "wrestling through our faith" is all about? Isn't asking questions and seeking truth part of gaining a better understanding of God and therefore a better understanding of ourselves and how to please Him?
I feel a little like I've been reading too much philosophy lately, and perhaps I am truly overthinking things. But the faith issue.... It's big. We are human. So was Elijah. But God is so big that he can send fire from heaven on a water-soaked offering just to make His point.
Lord, I believe, in everything that You are and everything that is said about You and that You say.
Help me in my unbelief.
