FROM: Banbury, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom
ABOUT ME: Living the highs and lows of life in the adventurous pursuit of God Himself and of who I'm meant to be as the Bride of Christ.
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Wednesday, July 30, 2008,10:28 p.m.
THE BURNING DESIRE FOR INTIMACY
Why I thought I would have more time for blogging in the summer once school was out I'll never know. It seems I've been slacking on this front. Sorry about that to anyone who still happens to check in from time to time....
Something that has been on my heart lately is intimacy with God. Actually, truth be told, the longing for deeper intimacy with the Lord has been a burning desire in me for some time now. One of the reasons I haven't written much lately is that I've been walking through a rather detailed (and deep) process with the Lord about why my level of intimacy with Him has waned over the last couple of years.
What I have discovered will be of little surprise to almost anyone. I have found (again) that there are two things that when removed to a greater or lesser degree from any relationship affect intimacy within that relationship.
One is time.
The other is discipline.
To make time takes discipline. To have discipline means you have to put in the time. When time is set aside, the disciplines are easier. When the disciplines are invested in, the time becomes a joy - a priority - and it is set aside.
I said to a friend the other day that I was frustrated with my own lack of discipline even in my ability to think about Jesus more than I think about the other things that occupy my thoughts, and have done so more than He for too long. Jesus used to be One I thought about day in and day out - I used to dream about Him and wake up singing songs to Him. Not so anymore, and it breaks my heart. But the more I thought about that, the more I thought that perhaps I have formed a habit of thinking of these other things, and if it is a habit, it may be broken and replaced with a better habit - a habit of gazing at the Lord instead.
That's a discipline.
The more I think about the Lord, the more I will want to (this I already know to be true). The thoughts that come about the other things I do not want to think about as much as I want to think about God must each be "taken captive and made obedient to Christ." As my discipline increases, so will the number of thoughts I have of the Lord.
That's time.
As my thoughts of the Lord increase and my time in the Word, and my conversations with Him, so my relationship with Him will deepen and grow.
And that's intimacy.
In a way I want it all right now - I want things to be as deep as they have been in the past, and I'd like it to be that way now. But the habits that have formed themselves in where my mind spends its time must be changed. Sometimes the discipline that is needed to do those types of things is what makes the intimacy gained so valuable. It's the same principle as money earned by hard work being more valuable than money that is simply received easily or freely.
I don't want cheap grace or shallow friendship with God. I have a deep desire burning in me for true intimacy, whatever the cost. May the Lord help me to make it happen.
Something that has been on my heart lately is intimacy with God. Actually, truth be told, the longing for deeper intimacy with the Lord has been a burning desire in me for some time now. One of the reasons I haven't written much lately is that I've been walking through a rather detailed (and deep) process with the Lord about why my level of intimacy with Him has waned over the last couple of years.
What I have discovered will be of little surprise to almost anyone. I have found (again) that there are two things that when removed to a greater or lesser degree from any relationship affect intimacy within that relationship.
One is time.
The other is discipline.
To make time takes discipline. To have discipline means you have to put in the time. When time is set aside, the disciplines are easier. When the disciplines are invested in, the time becomes a joy - a priority - and it is set aside.
I said to a friend the other day that I was frustrated with my own lack of discipline even in my ability to think about Jesus more than I think about the other things that occupy my thoughts, and have done so more than He for too long. Jesus used to be One I thought about day in and day out - I used to dream about Him and wake up singing songs to Him. Not so anymore, and it breaks my heart. But the more I thought about that, the more I thought that perhaps I have formed a habit of thinking of these other things, and if it is a habit, it may be broken and replaced with a better habit - a habit of gazing at the Lord instead.
That's a discipline.
The more I think about the Lord, the more I will want to (this I already know to be true). The thoughts that come about the other things I do not want to think about as much as I want to think about God must each be "taken captive and made obedient to Christ." As my discipline increases, so will the number of thoughts I have of the Lord.
That's time.
As my thoughts of the Lord increase and my time in the Word, and my conversations with Him, so my relationship with Him will deepen and grow.
And that's intimacy.
In a way I want it all right now - I want things to be as deep as they have been in the past, and I'd like it to be that way now. But the habits that have formed themselves in where my mind spends its time must be changed. Sometimes the discipline that is needed to do those types of things is what makes the intimacy gained so valuable. It's the same principle as money earned by hard work being more valuable than money that is simply received easily or freely.
I don't want cheap grace or shallow friendship with God. I have a deep desire burning in me for true intimacy, whatever the cost. May the Lord help me to make it happen.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008,8:14 p.m.
IS IT TRUE?
I've been thinking about that Matt Redman interview for a couple of days now (posted below). What I think I should have asked of any of the fellows that read this blog is: Is it true? Do you have a difficult time relating to certain worship songs, like songs about being "in love" with Jesus? Women, do you have a difficult time relating to any particular song lyrics? I'm not asking for a worship set bashing session, just interested in some personal feedback. Is there a specific concept or character trait of God to which you do particularly relate?
Monday, July 21, 2008,10:35 a.m.
MATT REDMAN ON WORSHIP SONGS (SPECIFICALLY IN REGARDS TO MEN IN THE CHURCH)
This blog may be a bit more bent towards the church teacher or musical worship leader, but I like the concept of what Matt Redman is saying in this interview. I have always had a healthy respect for him, not because of what he's done but because he has consistently appeared to exhibit both a spirit of humility and a desire for more knowledge of what he does. I particularly like that in this video he readily admits he doesn't know it all and that he is even rethinking songs he has written in the past.
Keep your ears open, too, for the admonition to worship songwriters to have our music be "watertight scripturally" and "understood culturally". He explains the last quite well.
As far as the songs we sing and how men in the church relate to them.....I may have to rethink at times what I choose in a worship set. That's going to be a tough call for me, who certainly most easily relates to God as a bride. Growth is good....
(As a "PS" - I just found another interview - totally unrelated - with Tim Hughes (another worship leader) - SAME SUBJECT. Hmmmm....looks like I definitely need to be looking into this concept.)
Keep your ears open, too, for the admonition to worship songwriters to have our music be "watertight scripturally" and "understood culturally". He explains the last quite well.
As far as the songs we sing and how men in the church relate to them.....I may have to rethink at times what I choose in a worship set. That's going to be a tough call for me, who certainly most easily relates to God as a bride. Growth is good....
(As a "PS" - I just found another interview - totally unrelated - with Tim Hughes (another worship leader) - SAME SUBJECT. Hmmmm....looks like I definitely need to be looking into this concept.)
Tuesday, July 15, 2008,11:37 a.m.
FROM A PURE HEART
I've been thinking just lately of the trend in corporate worship sets to focus on God alone and not on ourselves. This has been a thrust of the worship world for probably a decade or so, and I think it has been both necessary and good. In fact, to go one step further, I believe it is what God was teaching His church for this season. It was an intentional move to take our eyes off of self and place them on God, His character and His works, choosing to set aside our own feelings and ensure that we are seeing God purely.
As I've been thinking about it more lately, however, I wonder if we need to now go back to the place of personal expression (not that we ever totally left it). The place where in light of what we've learned about exalting God, irregardless of ourselves, we can worship Him as a reaction to His character and His works. Worship is, in its essence, a response. A response to God's majesty and redemptive power. We can respond with "God You alone are good" and we can respond with "I praise You, God, because You alone are good and have saved me". Both are true.
I have been reading a bit of St. Augustine's writings recently. He recounts his sinful past and the things that he did that deserved death. But in all his telling of his own history, it is not a glorification of his sin. Through it all it is the glorification of God that He was not only able but willing to save him from that sin. It exalts God, not his own depravity.
Is not this what worship really is? Can we not lose sight of God just as quickly regardless of what words we are singing? Can we not sing "I love You, I love You, I love You" and be thinking of ourselves and how much we love just as easily as we can sing "I love You, I love You, I love You" and be thinking about God and how worthy He is of all love and devotion?
Once again, worship comes back to the heart. The words are sometimes irrelevant. The actions are sometimes irrelevant. Words and actions express the heart - and worship is from a heart that is bent on bringing God pleasure and renown. I don't believe it was a mistake that God has purposed for us to take our eyes and the words of our songs completely off of ourselves for a season. Perhaps with a refreshed view of His glory alone we may sing of our love for His glory with purer hearts.
As I've been thinking about it more lately, however, I wonder if we need to now go back to the place of personal expression (not that we ever totally left it). The place where in light of what we've learned about exalting God, irregardless of ourselves, we can worship Him as a reaction to His character and His works. Worship is, in its essence, a response. A response to God's majesty and redemptive power. We can respond with "God You alone are good" and we can respond with "I praise You, God, because You alone are good and have saved me". Both are true.
I have been reading a bit of St. Augustine's writings recently. He recounts his sinful past and the things that he did that deserved death. But in all his telling of his own history, it is not a glorification of his sin. Through it all it is the glorification of God that He was not only able but willing to save him from that sin. It exalts God, not his own depravity.
Is not this what worship really is? Can we not lose sight of God just as quickly regardless of what words we are singing? Can we not sing "I love You, I love You, I love You" and be thinking of ourselves and how much we love just as easily as we can sing "I love You, I love You, I love You" and be thinking about God and how worthy He is of all love and devotion?
Once again, worship comes back to the heart. The words are sometimes irrelevant. The actions are sometimes irrelevant. Words and actions express the heart - and worship is from a heart that is bent on bringing God pleasure and renown. I don't believe it was a mistake that God has purposed for us to take our eyes and the words of our songs completely off of ourselves for a season. Perhaps with a refreshed view of His glory alone we may sing of our love for His glory with purer hearts.