FROM: Banbury, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom
ABOUT ME: Living the highs and lows of life in the adventurous pursuit of God Himself and of who I'm meant to be as the Bride of Christ.
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Thursday, February 26, 2009,6:36 p.m.
INSIGHT FROM JOB
I've been reading Job lately. I started a while ago, then got side-tracked into some other parts of scripture and am finishing it off now. I find Job an interesting book. Perhaps that's slightly overstating it, since there is a great deal of repetition in the book, at least for the first 30 chapters or so. It is interesting to me to think of Job as a righteous man. And that is how he is described. It is interesting to see his friends take a mental leap and assume that since his life has been destroyed he must be being punished for some wickedness. They continually try to get him to repent, assuming that since he is being punished, he must be guilty.
But Job himself makes a mental leap and an assumption, too, and I was wondering this morning if he didn't in this way actually sin. At the very least I think that he has thought too highly of himself - perhaps pride is where he fell down. Don't mistake me. This observation came after his property and family were taken from him and he is deeply depressed and bitter. But it is in that season that I wonder if he did not make a mistake.
You see, Job unceasingly asserts his innocence - that he has not sinned and is not guilty of anything that could necessitate this type of punishment. He does, however, in his bitterness of spirit, cry out to God and blame Him, thinking Him unjust. He asserts that the wicked prosper and he suffers. He accuses God of injustice.
What caught my attention is that Job claims his right to blessings because of his righteousness. But who among us has a right to blessings or grace? It is God's prerogative to bless or not to bless (which He does assert a few chapters ahead of where I am today). Our duty is to pursue righteousness regardless of what might or might not lie in store for us as a reward. Our blessings - or lack thereof - are up to God, not a result of our own righteousness. What could we possibly do to have the right to demand blessings? Shall we take that further? What could we possibly do to have the right to demand sanctification? The very thought defies the concept of grace and the need for the cross that Jesus chose to bear.
Job's situation was rather unique as we look at it. But if we think just slightly outside of the box, I think we can see a parallel to our own lives. How many times do we think that a blessing deferred or held back is unjust? I have done it - assumed that "God is late" or "This thing in my life isn't fair." Why do I assume that because I do my best to follow His commands and go where He sends me that I have a right to an easy life? If I have told Him at some point in the past that my life is His, why do I then complain about the lot He has chosen to give me? Is that not an accusation of injustice? God the Almighty - Yahweh - the Creator of every living and inanimate thing ever made - He has the ability to be unjust? He does not. Not even a little bit. It is against His character.
So if God cannot be unjust, we must look again and realize that we - and Job - might have grabbed hold of the wrong end of the stick. Once again it is about perspective. A true vision of God - that's really what we need. It is what Job needed, and received in the end.
I sometimes wonder how badly warped our perception of God and His power and majesty really is. Maybe it's closer than I think. When I read the book of Job, I see a lot of myself in His assumptions about what he 'deserves'. May God grant me, like He did to Job, great mercy and a much truer vision of who He really is.
But Job himself makes a mental leap and an assumption, too, and I was wondering this morning if he didn't in this way actually sin. At the very least I think that he has thought too highly of himself - perhaps pride is where he fell down. Don't mistake me. This observation came after his property and family were taken from him and he is deeply depressed and bitter. But it is in that season that I wonder if he did not make a mistake.
You see, Job unceasingly asserts his innocence - that he has not sinned and is not guilty of anything that could necessitate this type of punishment. He does, however, in his bitterness of spirit, cry out to God and blame Him, thinking Him unjust. He asserts that the wicked prosper and he suffers. He accuses God of injustice.
What caught my attention is that Job claims his right to blessings because of his righteousness. But who among us has a right to blessings or grace? It is God's prerogative to bless or not to bless (which He does assert a few chapters ahead of where I am today). Our duty is to pursue righteousness regardless of what might or might not lie in store for us as a reward. Our blessings - or lack thereof - are up to God, not a result of our own righteousness. What could we possibly do to have the right to demand blessings? Shall we take that further? What could we possibly do to have the right to demand sanctification? The very thought defies the concept of grace and the need for the cross that Jesus chose to bear.
Job's situation was rather unique as we look at it. But if we think just slightly outside of the box, I think we can see a parallel to our own lives. How many times do we think that a blessing deferred or held back is unjust? I have done it - assumed that "God is late" or "This thing in my life isn't fair." Why do I assume that because I do my best to follow His commands and go where He sends me that I have a right to an easy life? If I have told Him at some point in the past that my life is His, why do I then complain about the lot He has chosen to give me? Is that not an accusation of injustice? God the Almighty - Yahweh - the Creator of every living and inanimate thing ever made - He has the ability to be unjust? He does not. Not even a little bit. It is against His character.
So if God cannot be unjust, we must look again and realize that we - and Job - might have grabbed hold of the wrong end of the stick. Once again it is about perspective. A true vision of God - that's really what we need. It is what Job needed, and received in the end.
I sometimes wonder how badly warped our perception of God and His power and majesty really is. Maybe it's closer than I think. When I read the book of Job, I see a lot of myself in His assumptions about what he 'deserves'. May God grant me, like He did to Job, great mercy and a much truer vision of who He really is.
Sunday, February 22, 2009,6:02 p.m.
STAND AND FIGHT
It is high time I blog again. I am shamefully behind. The truth is, however, that I had the most awful week, and I had no inclination or inspiration to write anything. Until today.
This morning I attended a church I do not usually attend. In fact, my Worship Class students and I had the privilege of leading worship there. But the sermon caught my attention and in some ways I felt that it was speaking directly to me. The point that has stuck with me the most is regarding a passage of scripture in 1 Peter 5. It says this:
The preacher gave a little more detail to the picture of a roaring lion. He talked about how when a lion roars its prey goes flying, thereby putting itself in a more vulnerable position. Its back is turned to the lion and it is running away. The imagery caught my attention because I have wanted to run away this week. Quite literally. In fact I joked today that the only reason I didn't run away was that I didn't know where to go.
But though I didn't actually run, I did turn my back in anticipation of flight, and I did look for where to run and where to hide. I was filled with fear. And I was most certainly not self-controlled in the face of it. The further imagery that I found illuminating this morning was the contrast between the vulnerability of the run and the safety of being hidden under the shadow of the Almighty's wing. If I run, I am not anywhere near as assured of safety as if I stand firm and stay under His wings. It's so true, and in the face of great fear it is so difficult to remember.
I fail the Lord with my lack of faith over and over again. And then He tenderly offers me the covering of His wing yet again. I do not deserve it. And it is not why it is offered. It is offered because I need it and I am loved.
When I choose to stand and fight as I am bidden I am actually in a place of far greater safety than when I am filled with fear at the roaring lion and try to run away. I wish I could figure out a way to always remember that profound yet simple fact.
Selah
(Psalm 46:1-3)
This morning I attended a church I do not usually attend. In fact, my Worship Class students and I had the privilege of leading worship there. But the sermon caught my attention and in some ways I felt that it was speaking directly to me. The point that has stuck with me the most is regarding a passage of scripture in 1 Peter 5. It says this:
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. (1 Peter 5:8-9)
The preacher gave a little more detail to the picture of a roaring lion. He talked about how when a lion roars its prey goes flying, thereby putting itself in a more vulnerable position. Its back is turned to the lion and it is running away. The imagery caught my attention because I have wanted to run away this week. Quite literally. In fact I joked today that the only reason I didn't run away was that I didn't know where to go.
But though I didn't actually run, I did turn my back in anticipation of flight, and I did look for where to run and where to hide. I was filled with fear. And I was most certainly not self-controlled in the face of it. The further imagery that I found illuminating this morning was the contrast between the vulnerability of the run and the safety of being hidden under the shadow of the Almighty's wing. If I run, I am not anywhere near as assured of safety as if I stand firm and stay under His wings. It's so true, and in the face of great fear it is so difficult to remember.
I fail the Lord with my lack of faith over and over again. And then He tenderly offers me the covering of His wing yet again. I do not deserve it. And it is not why it is offered. It is offered because I need it and I am loved.
When I choose to stand and fight as I am bidden I am actually in a place of far greater safety than when I am filled with fear at the roaring lion and try to run away. I wish I could figure out a way to always remember that profound yet simple fact.
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
Selah
(Psalm 46:1-3)
Friday, February 13, 2009,5:10 p.m.
CHINESE RADIO
Today's scenario. 4:30pm. Leaving work and driving home. In the car I decided that it felt colder than it has been outside and I was curious to know what the temperature was. I have News 1130 preset on my car radio (which I rarely listen to except for the news) so hit the AM/FM button to turn it on.
I still do not know what the temperature outside is. The reason that even though I listened to the news (I assume) and still do not know what the temperature is is that I listened to the news in Chinese. And the reason that I had to listen to the news in Chinese is because a friend was driving my car on the weekend and changed all my presets to random radio stations.
What's the temperature? It's cold. What's the life expectancy of my (once) dear friend? I don't need Chinese radio to tell me that one - short. Ironically, I found his Bluetooth device in my car and considered "accidentally" crushing it under one of my heels, but decided against it.
What is actually worse is that he tells me that one of the new preset radio stations is country music. His life expectancy just got shorter and his Bluetooth no longer exists......
I still do not know what the temperature outside is. The reason that even though I listened to the news (I assume) and still do not know what the temperature is is that I listened to the news in Chinese. And the reason that I had to listen to the news in Chinese is because a friend was driving my car on the weekend and changed all my presets to random radio stations.
What's the temperature? It's cold. What's the life expectancy of my (once) dear friend? I don't need Chinese radio to tell me that one - short. Ironically, I found his Bluetooth device in my car and considered "accidentally" crushing it under one of my heels, but decided against it.
What is actually worse is that he tells me that one of the new preset radio stations is country music. His life expectancy just got shorter and his Bluetooth no longer exists......
Monday, February 09, 2009,9:13 p.m.
DREAM
I had another dream on Sunday morning. As it always does, it involved many random things - playing in an orchestra, eating a bagel, talking to a woman with very red hair. But something struck me - twice - in this dream.
The first was that in the middle of rehearsal, someone's cell phone went off and the tune it played was "How Great Thou Art". The person took so long to pick up the call that almost the entire orchestra was about to dive into worship using this song. The conductor, however, was not impressed, wanting only to continue on with the rehearsal. He was actually upset that someone had let their phone ring in the middle of his rehearsal time.
The second incident in the dream had to do with the woman with red hair. Once the rehearsal was finished and we were making last-minute preparations to board a bus to the concert hall, this woman asked to speak with me. She told me she had a word from the Lord for me. When she began to talk to me I noticed that he hair (of all things) was only half styled, so I offered to fix it for her. Though she was still trying to tell me the word she had for me I was more intent on styling her hair, and by the time I was done there was only time left for me to get a bagel to eat, ensure my violin was packed up and ready to go, and board the bus.
Perhaps even those two things seem pretty random on the surface. But as I thought about it more, I recognized that both incidents illustrated missed opportunities. The first - a missed opportunity to enter into and experience the presence of the Lord. His presence was so near as we all almost broke out into His worship, but we were cut off due to a timeline, a schedule, etiquette, rules. The second - a missed opportunity to hear and receive the voice of the Lord through His servant. The word was ready to be spoken and was missed due to distraction and more schedule. Ways to serve, things to do, body to feed.
Martha's missed opportunity was not that she served instead of sitting at the feet of Jesus. It was that she was distracted in her service. She missed the opportunity to experience Him and to hear His voice and learn from Him. Mary chose the better part - to gaze upon Jesus, rest in Him, wait upon Him, learn from Him, fix her eyes continually upon Him.
Needless to say, since this rather random dream I am attempting to watch more closely for those places where I either miss or lay aside opportunities to experience God simply because I feel the need to feed the god of schedule and the god of service. There is only one true God. May we never miss Him.
"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:38-42)
The first was that in the middle of rehearsal, someone's cell phone went off and the tune it played was "How Great Thou Art". The person took so long to pick up the call that almost the entire orchestra was about to dive into worship using this song. The conductor, however, was not impressed, wanting only to continue on with the rehearsal. He was actually upset that someone had let their phone ring in the middle of his rehearsal time.
The second incident in the dream had to do with the woman with red hair. Once the rehearsal was finished and we were making last-minute preparations to board a bus to the concert hall, this woman asked to speak with me. She told me she had a word from the Lord for me. When she began to talk to me I noticed that he hair (of all things) was only half styled, so I offered to fix it for her. Though she was still trying to tell me the word she had for me I was more intent on styling her hair, and by the time I was done there was only time left for me to get a bagel to eat, ensure my violin was packed up and ready to go, and board the bus.
Perhaps even those two things seem pretty random on the surface. But as I thought about it more, I recognized that both incidents illustrated missed opportunities. The first - a missed opportunity to enter into and experience the presence of the Lord. His presence was so near as we all almost broke out into His worship, but we were cut off due to a timeline, a schedule, etiquette, rules. The second - a missed opportunity to hear and receive the voice of the Lord through His servant. The word was ready to be spoken and was missed due to distraction and more schedule. Ways to serve, things to do, body to feed.
Martha's missed opportunity was not that she served instead of sitting at the feet of Jesus. It was that she was distracted in her service. She missed the opportunity to experience Him and to hear His voice and learn from Him. Mary chose the better part - to gaze upon Jesus, rest in Him, wait upon Him, learn from Him, fix her eyes continually upon Him.
Needless to say, since this rather random dream I am attempting to watch more closely for those places where I either miss or lay aside opportunities to experience God simply because I feel the need to feed the god of schedule and the god of service. There is only one true God. May we never miss Him.
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:38-42)
Sunday, February 08, 2009,7:51 a.m.
COREY VIDAL VIDEO
OK, this has nothing to do with anything. Except perhaps that musically it's fantastic and it's about Star Wars. Very clever - enjoy!
Monday, February 02, 2009,7:22 p.m.
DREAMS
I have been noticing that I'm behind on blogging something new, and just this weekend started to anticipate getting my butt lovingly kicked by one of the friends who happens to drop by regularly. That came from Lisa, whose tender butt-kicking came all the way from Aus!! Nice. So tonight I am blogging. (And standing up.) :)
What to blog? What has been happening at Casa Baker in the last couple of weeks?
Well, I have been asking the Lord for many months now to give me dreams again. A few years ago He fairly regularly gave me dreams at night. Then for far too long I was without these God-experiences, and missed them. I was beginning to wonder if I would ever receive another dream when all of a sudden I dreamed 5 nights out of 7! People always ask, at this point in the story, what I dreamed about. I'm not so sure that these dreams started out as particularly prophetic - perhaps I've been more like Jeremiah and God has put me in training. Getting back in shape to lie down and sleep (my kind of getting in shape....). In the first dream, a close friend of mine died (which I apparently didn't know and was hearing about two months after the fact - and no, I never told him about the dream. Perhaps I will when I've dreamed that he was raised from the dead!). In the second I was in Africa in missions having lunch with a pastor from UK. In the third I was with a Mexico missions team (RCA readers, it's time to note that all our missions endeavors at the school are following me into my dreams!) at a concert where they played "Toss the Feathers" - the same Celtic reel that is played (and that I've played many times) at the start of "The Joy of the Lord". (It is interesting to note that in that dream at that concert, I tried to call this same friend who died in the first dream, since he's a big fan of the tune, but I couldn't get hold of him. Coincidence?)
In the last dream I had, however, I dreamed I was giving a car ride to a former student of mine. She graduated a number of years ago now, and since I see her rarely it was rather random (as dreams generally are). But at the end of the dream I felt distinctly that the Lord was telling me something that I needed to tell her.
Cool. And also a little scary.
I believe in the Lord's voice. I believe that He can and has spoken through dreams, even to me. I even believe in Joel 2 that promises that God will pour out dreams upon us. But to be told to go and tell someone a message from God when you haven't seen much of her in years is a little ..... risky. Risky of what? Well, pride, probably, if I'm to be honest.
You're probably wondering if I did what I was told. The answer is yes. I love having the dreams again. I want to be faithful with whatever message the Lord allows me the privilege of carrying because I want more. I want to hear His voice all the time. I want to dream of His beauty and I want somehow to be focused on Him and His voice and beauty even in my sleep. I think the key is to be ready, but also to be searching. Fixing our eyes on Jesus. Looking for every opportunity to see Him, hear Him, obey Him, and be Him to someone else.
I don't know that it's always about drive - drive to DO all the things that He asks of us. Yes, we are supposed to live the life and walk the walk. No question there, no argument from me. But I also think that at times we need to hear the soft voice of the Lord leading us to where we are supposed to be, to know that He is choosing what path and what obedience that in that moment we are to take. I really want to - every moment - be seeking Him and straining to hear His voice. When I hear it I no longer wonder what it is that I should do in that moment. His voice is in the scriptures, and He tells us over and over what pleases His heart. But He is not a silent God; He will also speak to us now, in this day and age, and guide us to the left or the right.
May we have ears to listen and hearts to dream.
As an added little thing - this has nothing to do with anything except that just after posting the above I saw it on Xander's blog. And I thought it was hilarious - enjoy!!
What to blog? What has been happening at Casa Baker in the last couple of weeks?
Well, I have been asking the Lord for many months now to give me dreams again. A few years ago He fairly regularly gave me dreams at night. Then for far too long I was without these God-experiences, and missed them. I was beginning to wonder if I would ever receive another dream when all of a sudden I dreamed 5 nights out of 7! People always ask, at this point in the story, what I dreamed about. I'm not so sure that these dreams started out as particularly prophetic - perhaps I've been more like Jeremiah and God has put me in training. Getting back in shape to lie down and sleep (my kind of getting in shape....). In the first dream, a close friend of mine died (which I apparently didn't know and was hearing about two months after the fact - and no, I never told him about the dream. Perhaps I will when I've dreamed that he was raised from the dead!). In the second I was in Africa in missions having lunch with a pastor from UK. In the third I was with a Mexico missions team (RCA readers, it's time to note that all our missions endeavors at the school are following me into my dreams!) at a concert where they played "Toss the Feathers" - the same Celtic reel that is played (and that I've played many times) at the start of "The Joy of the Lord". (It is interesting to note that in that dream at that concert, I tried to call this same friend who died in the first dream, since he's a big fan of the tune, but I couldn't get hold of him. Coincidence?)
In the last dream I had, however, I dreamed I was giving a car ride to a former student of mine. She graduated a number of years ago now, and since I see her rarely it was rather random (as dreams generally are). But at the end of the dream I felt distinctly that the Lord was telling me something that I needed to tell her.
Cool. And also a little scary.
I believe in the Lord's voice. I believe that He can and has spoken through dreams, even to me. I even believe in Joel 2 that promises that God will pour out dreams upon us. But to be told to go and tell someone a message from God when you haven't seen much of her in years is a little ..... risky. Risky of what? Well, pride, probably, if I'm to be honest.
You're probably wondering if I did what I was told. The answer is yes. I love having the dreams again. I want to be faithful with whatever message the Lord allows me the privilege of carrying because I want more. I want to hear His voice all the time. I want to dream of His beauty and I want somehow to be focused on Him and His voice and beauty even in my sleep. I think the key is to be ready, but also to be searching. Fixing our eyes on Jesus. Looking for every opportunity to see Him, hear Him, obey Him, and be Him to someone else.
I don't know that it's always about drive - drive to DO all the things that He asks of us. Yes, we are supposed to live the life and walk the walk. No question there, no argument from me. But I also think that at times we need to hear the soft voice of the Lord leading us to where we are supposed to be, to know that He is choosing what path and what obedience that in that moment we are to take. I really want to - every moment - be seeking Him and straining to hear His voice. When I hear it I no longer wonder what it is that I should do in that moment. His voice is in the scriptures, and He tells us over and over what pleases His heart. But He is not a silent God; He will also speak to us now, in this day and age, and guide us to the left or the right.
May we have ears to listen and hearts to dream.
As an added little thing - this has nothing to do with anything except that just after posting the above I saw it on Xander's blog. And I thought it was hilarious - enjoy!!