Darren Hailes has some good stuff going on at his blog at the moment - check out October 27th and October 31st. I'm not sure if he intended it all, but it's well worth a read.

If you choose to comment on his blog, please do so carefully. Here's my two cents' worth of advice - comment intelligently, not angrily. Anger, name-calling and insulting the people on the other side of the issue simply diffuses the eloquence and strength of the argument.

May God protect all the children who are so alive and simply waiting - and hoping - to be born. May God give our voices strength and our words an anointing to change hearts and to love all people into all truth.

It's definitely time for a new blog, but I'm not feeling overly brilliant tonight - I'll have to try and think of something interesting to say tomorrow. For now, I'll leave you all with this to make you smile......

I often pop on to the ArmyBarmy blog and see what my friends in downtown Vancouver are thinking on any given day. As I scrolled down on it today, I noticed a blog from Stephen Court (from today, Wednesday, October 18th) about worship and prayer.

What interested me most in his thoughts was the one segment of it at least that one of my own senior pastors and I have discussed - the question of whether everything is worship. (I do realize that their discussion centres around worship and prayer; I'm taking it slightly more generally.)

My senior pastor has in the past been wont to freely say, "Everything is worship" (the last time I recall him saying this was when a few of us were about to play in a volleyball tournament), and I tend to correct him and reply that everything can be done as worship, but certainly everything we do in life is not. At least not yet. If everything were worship, I doubt whether God would have spent half the Old Testament and the energy of so many His prophets chastising Israel for their lack of sincerity in the worship act and their lack of authenticity in their lives of supposed devotion.

And then the question begs to be asked, "If everything can be done as worship, how do I do it? How do I do my taxes as worship, or how to I mow the lawn as worship, or how do I discipline my children as worship or how do I play volleyball as worship?" And I rather think it comes down to - as worship always does - the heart.

Do your taxes with integrity, as it will honour God.
Mow the lawn with joy in your service, as it will bring Him pleasure.
Discipline your children with justice and diligence, as He equates obedience with love for Himself.
Play volleyball with a knowledge that your character (and therefore your witness) shows through your sportsmanship, as it will bring honour to the name of the Lord.

Let everything be done with a focus of pleasing the Lord, honouring the Lord, and bringing His name greatly glory. Not for any personal renown, but simply because it should be our primary focus in our lives. Worship is what we were created for (Revelation 4:11), but worship is not 20 minutes on a Sunday morning. It can be - no, it should be - paramount in our lives. In everything, all the time.

Hard to do all the time? Hard to do especially in certain situations?

Glad to hear it. I'd hate to think I was the only one who had to wrestle with this. Press on. He is worthy to be worshipped.

I am always struck when reading the scriptures at how MANY parallels there are to Jesus - both Him as the person of God and also the work of God that He executed for us in salvation. Here's one from the end of Genesis:

So Joseph bought all the land of Egypt for Pharaoh, for every Egyptian sold his field, because the famine was severe upon them. Thus the land became Pharaoh's. Then Joseph said to the people, "Behold, I have today bought you and your land for Pharaoh; now, here is seed for you, and you may sow the land." At the harvest you shall give a fifth to Pharaoh, and four-fifths shall be your own for seed of the field and for your food and for those of your households and as food for your little ones." So they said, "You have saved our lives! Let us find favor in the sight of my lord, and we will be Pharaoh's slaves." (Genesis 47:20, 23-25)

Redemption without cost.
Salvation of lives.
Great grace for people outside of the nation of Israel.
Voluntary slavery.

Sound familiar?

Here's something I thought was cool - as Jacob describes his sons (in Genesis 49) prior to blessing them, I was struck by how he describes each different person with their own characteristics and also their own roles or gifts. It's like the denominations of the church, with one body and one Spirit, but different functions or gifts. Or perhaps also different natures. It's unfortunate that in this list that they are not all positive. And that reminds me of Revelation - not all of the seven churches were doing what they were supposed to be doing, and were called to task accordingly by Jesus Himself (Revelation 2 and 3). Both scriptures spur me on to make sure I am pursuing the knowledge of my specific gifts and callings and executing not only them but all the commands of the Lord.

I was looking at the trees along my street yesterday, and noticing that fall is definitely upon us, despite our warm weather and lack of rain. My street is lined with deciduous trees that are turning orange and red, and now regularly dropping their leaves throughout the day. It's beautiful.

As I thought more about this pattern of the trees turning colour and dropping their leaves, it occurred to me that these trees do this every year, and if I were to attribute sentient thought to them, I would say that they decide to do this every year. They choose to shed the old leaves - the dead things from the past year - and clothe themselves in the new things.

What a great parallel for us. To decide to shed the old, dead things in our lives, and to look forward to the new things. To forsake the old wineskins that we have known, the ones that are no longer able to hold the things that they should, and to choose to accept the new wineskins and the new wine that is given us as a gift.

New wineskins for new wine. New things from the heart of God for our lives. Renewal. It is our choice to accept it. It is God's pleasure to give it. Sometimes it is difficult to let go of the things that are known in our lives - I wonder, is it difficult for the trees to drop their leaves that they have been nurturing for a year? Or a snake to shed his skin that has protected him for so long? Perhaps it is easier if the future is known and the knowledge of new life and new things is on the horizon.

Be assured that there are new things on the horizon. There are always new things on the horizon with God - healing, fulfilled promises, blessings, callings, fresh vision. God gives good gifts to His beloved children.

He told them this parable: "No one tears a patch from a new garment and sews it on an old one. If he does, he will have torn the new garment, and the patch from the new will not match the old. And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the new wine will burst the skins, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, new wine must be poured into new wineskins. And no one after drinking old wine wants the new, for he says, 'The old is better.' " (Luke 5:36-39)

Classic quote of the day from our beloved Michael Collins:


It is unfortunate that he was talking to me at the time.....

I'm feeling a little low this evening. Normally I don't blog about how I feel - I blog a great deal about what I think but not necessarily how I feel. That's not a lack of ability to feel at all (yeesh! trust me!), but simply a lack of desire to share that with the entire universe through a faceless online medium.

But since I do think so much, often dissecting everything until it's well past its usefulness, I have been thinking about why I feel a little low tonight. It's unreasonable - I had a lovely Thanksgiving dinner with my family and three great people - friends of mine personally - whom I dearly love.

So what's the deal?

I think the deal is that I have a different role among my family than among my friends. Amongst my friends I am the oldest, and usually fall into much that that role entails. Amongst my family I am the youngest, experiencing much of its nature when I am with them. Am I a different person when with the two groups? Not at all - different experiences and environments just draw different parts of me out.

But with the two worlds colliding tonight, so to speak, I felt out of my element. I didn't know how to react to certain things, and I felt uncomfortable, like I was being watched. I think, too, in those situations I feel that I am responsible to my family for how my friends are perceived, and vice versa. Why do I wear so much of this stuff on my shoulders? Why do I do what I'm doing now and analyze away any enjoyment there might have been in the evening with fears of not only how each of them perceived each other but how I was perceived in the midst of it all? And when did I go back to being so self-conscious and fearful of others' opinions? I thought I shed that skin many years ago.

And in that last question of myself I can probably see the reason for my spirits being low so late tonight. That is the old me. I didn't like the old me. I didn't like receiving my self-worth from my friends, because it was like a false start - never quite right and not ever getting me where I wanted to be. I didn't like receiving it from my family, because when I thought it should be there it wasn't, and when it was I didn't believe it anyway. I didn't like how I protected my own heart by jabbing at others'. I did that tonight. And I will likely beat myself up about it for a long while, especially because I called a friend on that very same behaviour just last night (though to his credit his own motives might have been different), and just to top it off he was there at dinner tonight to witness my lack of integrity on the subject.

It is who I WAS. Not who I truly am today. It is hard to see a piece of the past raise its ugly head again. But I need to choose to have faith and believe that I am still a new creation. It is a lie from the enemy that nothing has changed in my life and that the wounds and triggers that I thought were long healed were only just temporarily buried.

I AM a new creation. The old things have passed away. New things have come. Amen. Let them come in completeness, Sovereign Lord.

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Have you ever thought about God's faithfulness? I mean really thought about the incredibility of it. Not just His integrity - His constancy in answering prayers and being quick to fulfill promises. I mean His actual faithfulness to us in relationship. His consistent returning to us and wooing us even when we have shown a faithlessness to Him, or at the very best a lack of thought and response towards Him as He cares for us and showers us with love and blessings.

I had a moment in my own life recently where I felt that my faithfulness, borne out of great love, was answered with harshness. Granted, it was almost certainly thoughtlessly done, and not reflective of the level of relationship that is there, but isn't that what we often do to God? Words thoughtlessly spoken and actions thoughtlessly executed. It overwhelms me to think of how magnanimous God is that He continually lays these aside and chooses to love us with abandon and purity. When someone answers my love with harshness, my own humanness (and likely some brokenness, too) gets in the way and I want to protect myself and say, "Oh that's how you really feel about me? Well, so much for you, then!" It's unbelievable that God, since the creation of mankind, has always chosen love.

In Genesis, when the world was all nutty in the time of Noah, it says that "The Lord was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain." Genesis 6:6) Ouch. I can't imagine that today is any different, with how many of us - even Believers - are often so faithless in our thoughts and love for God. But even with that conviction, I am filled with an overwhelming understanding of God's love and faithfulness for me. I have read the book of Hosea many times. I have heard the story of God's constant returning to us and accepting us again. What I think I was missing was the incredible personal investment God puts in to call us back into relationship with Him again and again. Is He hurt? Yes. Does He get angry? Yes, rightly so. But does He allow this to affect the purity of His love for us? Never.

It is virtually inconceivable to my mind.

But that is the kind of faithfulness that I want to have for my friends. For my family. Even for those I don't know well or the strangers on the street, who need salvation and love and healing as much as any of the rest of us. And I find this last extremely difficult, because regardless of how much it hurts even when they do it, I have no real personal investment in these people if they choose to reject me, and it is easier to simply write them off, in a sense. It is, however, the thoughtless rejection of friends and family that tends to be the most difficult because of the pain it can cause and the breaking of the relationship that has become or is thought to be a known and safe place. How much more does a Creator feel the pain and frustration of the thoughtless (let alone the calculated) rejection of His treasured creation?

And yet He chooses faithfulness every time.

He is indeed a mighty, mighty God.

This weekend is Thanksgiving. I'm not sure why that all of a sudden struck me, as I'm well aware of the fact. But I think for me Thanksgiving has turned into two things annually: (1) When will family dinner be able to be scheduled in, and (2) what impact does that have on the elements in our Sunday morning church service.

I think I'm missing the point.

As I began to ponder what I'm thankful to the Lord Almighty for, I was struck by how much there is - I couldn't begin to blog it all, without any exaggeration. And I was struck by how many of those things are the actual people in my life. And I was filled with a desire to both tell the people in my life what a blessing they are to me - each and every one - and also pour out to the Lord thanksgiving for everything with which He has provided me. He is amazing.

I have a great desire to write down the names of the people that I am currently thanking the Lord for, but I fear I will either leave someone out so it looks like they didn't make the list, or creep someone out who actually did. (Haha!) However, I really want you all to know how much you are loved and appreciated, and that you are a blessing with which the Lord has incredibly graced me.

I love you. May the Lord be praised for His gift of each of you in my life.

I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers.... (Philemon 1:4)

I'm not sure why I'm doing this except perhaps that I love Matthew Champ (still have that rule about marrying you, though, Matt - sorry, bro), and he did something on his blog that intrigued me. He wrote this:

So, normally I don't do these tag games, but here's one I found interesting.

Join in for a fun game of tag
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.
6. Tag five people.

So, normally I would also say I never do these things - even when I'm tagged (please don't start tagging me for stuff - I probably won't even see it, but out of perversity I certainly won't want to do it - I can't even be bothered to respond to those e-mail questionnaires that people personally send me sometimes). Perhaps it was that Matthew didn't personally tag me, or perhaps it was that I was then curious to see what page 23 in the book beside me on my bed-side table held - I don't know. But here it is:

"You're my elders and betters, you know; I was obliged to come when you sent for me."
"Why, this is what I want - and just shake yourself sober and listen, will you?" said Godfrey savagely. He had himself been drinking more than was good for him, trying to turn his gloom into uncalculating anger.

I had some revelation this week about giving advice and making sure you take it yourself.

I was chatting with a worship leader friend of mine, hoping to encourage him and pour into him whatever the Lord has given me as experience, etc. I found that I myself was encouraged and challenged as a result of the conversation.

I was asking my friend where it was that he found the most freedom to personally worship the Lord - where the place was that he could "get lost" in his worship of the Lord, and encouraging him to ensure that he goes to that place regularly and spends time worshipping. I was telling him that back when I was first really digging in to the worship leadership thing and going deeper in intimacy with the Lord through worship (and specifically worship through music for me), I would spend hours alone at my keyboard in my living room just pouring out my heart to the Lord in worship - tears, joy, stress, exaltation, declaration - whatever it was. Lots of hours and lots of volume. (It was great that I had understanding Believers as landlords....)

As I have been processing my conversation with my friend from Thursday night, I wonder where that place is for me now? I don't take that kind of time in front of my keyboard anymore, really, and when I do, my head is fairly fixed on the "leader" role - will this song do for this congregation, is it too hard for the band, etc. - instead of on the "worshipper" role. That's not cool, either for the refreshment of my own spirit or the integrity of my worship before God.

One can really only ever lead worship from a place of personal experience. I know that I am a worshipper. It is my primary calling and the reason that I was created - to bring glory to the name of God Almighty and to bring Him pleasure. Maybe my personal favourite way of doing that these days isn't in front of my keyboard. Maybe my personal favourite way shouldn't matter. But my intimacy with the Lord certainly does. Both as a leader and as His child.

As a rhetorical question: where's your personal worship and intimacy time with the Lord? Do you go there enough? Is it all about and for God, or do other things creep in?

I'll be asking myself these questions a lot in the next few days and weeks. I pray that either the answers will be pleasing to God or that He will help to purify my offering before His throne.

I had a Psalm 23 moment tonight. The first Sunday of the month is always an energy drainer, between two Sunday services and a service at one of the local care homes. All are enjoyable, but all are a pouring out, so to speak.

Tonight a friend of ours was at the evening service, with her 2-week-old son. I took him a few minutes before the service started and was privileged to rock him until he fell deep asleep, and then I didn't want to let him go. So I was forced to sit as I sang my worship, and understood later that the Lord was making me "lie down" in green pastures and physically rest.

It was great. Granted, the baby snored all the way through the message, but I figure of anyone in the congregation, it was probably OK for him to do that.

What a beautiful treat - the baby, the rest, and the gift from the Lord of both.