I think my cat is brain dead.

What else do you call it when an animal sits and stares at the wall endlessly for no apparent reason? Some people may answer that question with: "You call it a cat!" Maybe she thought the wall was going to move? If a human did that, I would suggest detox, but truly, my cat is clean - kicked the catnip habit years ago (it only put her to sleep anyway....)

But seriously - brain dead.

One night not long ago I had people over for dinner, and she chose that night to walk in circles around the apartment. I had to tell people she was in training and just doing her "laps". Last night she listened to me calling her forever after I had turned the lights out, only to discover when I finally turned them on to see what happened to her that she had been sitting beside the bed the whole time, just looking at me. Not only brain dead but also, in that case, a little creepy. (Perhaps there's a lesson in there for me too that I shouldn't be calling the cat forever after I've turned the lights out OR be concerned about where she could be in a one-bedroom apartment....) Last week she chewed on one of my plants, and wasn't wise enough to let me remain in the assumption that I might have knocked it over myself, because she took the opportunity to chew on it 10 minutes later....

Some other reasons I have for the brain dead diagnosis:

The fact that she won't eat food that has fallen out of her bowl onto the mat - I think she thinks it's beneath her.
The fact that she won't eat food that has fallen out of her mouth (yes, you read that right) while she was chewing.
The fact that food actually falls out of her mouth while she chews.
The fact that when "meeting" a new friend and rubbing her face on their feet (awww.....) she then turns around and occassionally chews on the feet. (I'm noticing that she has lots of chewing issues....)

Totally brain dead. Ah well, truth be told, I love her, and though I know that more than one of my friends (Darren Hailes and Lance Rourke!) are itching to come and help me "deal" with the problem, neither will ever get in close enough range to have a clear shot.

And what, you may ask, is the deep theological meaning behind this post? I could likely find a parallel, but would rather leave you with the mental image you've already created of my cat wandering around the apartment like an idiot with her eyes crossed, randomly chewing on things..... Sometimes it's good just to laugh.