My heart is breaking tonight. I have spent the afternoon with an old and very dear friend of mine and his wife, his one-year-old son, 2 step-sons, and everybody's family. It was the one-year-old's baptism day, and though I didn't make it to the service, I was able to be at the family reception at the house in the afternoon.

What breaks my heart is that neither my friend nor his wife, who are both really wonderful people, have any desire to know Jesus. Please don't ask me why they had their son baptized - I'm really not sure, and have learned that religion conversations between the three of us can be .... ticklish, to say the least. You see, the last time I tried to have one, they didn't speak to me for over four years.

I love them. I want to respect them and their ability to make decisions about God. I want to be sure they know that I love them and that their friendship is extremely important to me.

But, oh, how I want to see them in heaven. How I want to be able to share with them the love of the Father for both of them and for their children. How I want to apologize and grieve and mourn that it was we, as the bride of Christ, who failed them and we are the very reason they never want to step into a church family again. I literally want to weep.

I want to see them for all eternity. I want to see them saved and free from whatever is in their life that holds them back from receiving the purest love they will ever know. I want to speak, to shout it out - that they need the blood of Jesus and that they will burst from the fullness He has to offer each of them.

But I cannot speak, at least not now.

I can only weep.

"This is why I weep and my eyes overflow with tears. No one is near to comfort me, no one to restore my spirit. My children are destitute because the enemy has prevailed." (Lamentations 1:16)