It amazes me that one little verse can sum up 40 chapters of Exodus so succinctly.

Chapter 40, verse 34 says, "Then the cloud covered the tent of meeting, and the glory of the Lord filled the tabernacle."

THEN.

"Then" means "after all the other stuff." What other stuff?

Slavery and struggling to be free.
Wrestling with the Lord.
Learning to know the Lord.
Perseverance.
Obedience.
Extravagance.
Consecration.

THEN the glory of the Lord filled the tabernacle. THAT'S when the glory came - after the perseverance, after the obedience, after the extravagance, after the consecration.

Tabernacle literally means "dwelling place." We ourselves, under the new covenant, are the dwelling place of God. So does it seem a stretch to say then that if we desire the glory of the Lord to come down and fill us, we must continue in our perseverance, obedience, extravagance and consecration?

I don't think so. Come, Lord Jesus!

Tonight one of the senior ladies from my congregation called me. She asked for a ride to the Christmas Eve service, but I actually think she called because she had a fall yesterday and wasn't feeling great. It took me a few moments to realize that she wasn't so much upset about the stiffness from her fall as the trauma of not being able to get up or receive help for an hour and a half. When I prayed for her on the phone and told her how much I loved her, she burst into tears.

I hung up the phone and myself cried and cried. I get that it's community. I get that doing so little for someone, like talking on the phone and praying for them for about three minutes can really fill them up.

The grief is because so little time and love touched a hurting soul so deeply.
The grief is that it means that the chasm of loneliness and the need for comfort and love go very deep - and it is deeper than I could ever fill.
The grief is because I want to. And I don't think I can.

I know Jesus hears my earnest prayer that He touch her spirit and minister to her Himself.

It still hurts that she is hurting.

Last night at our evening service, I had the privilege of leading the musical part of worship. I also had the privilege of hearing a preach on a couple of my favourite scripture passages - Jesus anointed by the sinful woman (Luke 7), Jesus anointed by Mary of Bethany (John 12) and Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus (John 10). (And yes, I know the first two could be the same story told differently, but they might not be....I don't know, but it's not important to this blog....).

Between the two, I felt like I "remembered" what some of my best moments with Jesus have been - that knowledge of intimate friendship and utter love, both given and received. That complete focus and extreme enjoyment of worshipping Him, simply knowing He is worthy of it! That "being lost" in His presence, not only in the musical worship, but in the reading of His Word and in prayer. The passion. The fire of love. The understanding that I can put myself in the place of Mary and the sinful woman. The realization of forgiveness and grace. The joy of Jesus' friendship.

The joy.

I sometimes feel like I have had more joy in my worship at other times in my life. I remember still when I was first really learning all about the deeper parts of worship and the fact that I was specifically created to do all of what was going on last night. I remember discovering things in the Word, and then discovering them again later with fresh revelation, or discovering new things about the same passages. (I'm currently reading Leviticus - that may be an explanation why I'm searching deeper there for that feeling of joy!)

I know that my relationship with God is not based on emotion. I know that my worship is not qualified by the amount I "feel" the joy that I am bringing the Father. I know all of that - really. I frequently teach on that myself as a worship pastor. It is important for all of us as worshippers to be able to worship and serve the Lord outside of what we ourselves will receive.

But.....

Psalm 16:11 says that in God's presence is fullness of joy. FULLNESS. Where is the fullness? Isn't joy an emotion the Lord wants us to experience when we worship Him? Fullness. Even a fullness of emotion - grief, joy - all of it. Actually, joy isn't even just an emotion - it's deeper than that. I can be in tears and understand the joy of knowing that God is so near I feel as if I could touch Him. In fact, His nearness often brings me to tears - that knowledge that I am so loved, coming even while I am attempting to love on Him, brings healing and fills a gap that always needs to be filled.

I want fullness. I want to go back and re-dig the places where there used to be wells of fullness in my worship of the Lord and my relationship with Him. I want to overflow, not simply serve out of a knowledge that this is what I'm supposed to do. I want the passion. I want the fire. I want it all.

I want fullness.

You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever. (Psalm 16:11)

There have been a couple of comments on the post below that are great and kept me thinking about the sharing of the message(s) we have been given. Though you're better to take a moment and read them for yourself, they contained, in a nutshell, this advice:

(a) Don't repeat truths just for the sake of repetition - it risks devaluing the message into mere words

(b) Don't change things just for the sake of changing things or to try and make them more palatable - it risks compromising the message for the sake of the medium

I think both of these are solid truths.

What both of these comments sparked me to realize is that, at least for me, my most powerful medium for my message is my own excitement and the fact that I'm speaking from my own experience and revelation of God.

The obvious conclusion seems to me to be to continue to seek that fresh revelation, even of known truths. To never be satisfied with what I already know or have experienced but seek to know more, experience more, and receive more fullness from the Lord in every part of my relationship with Him so that I may serve more, share more, and love more. My message may not in its core substance change - after all, God's worthiness to be worshipped does NOT ever change - but I think in my own continuing to dive even deeper into what those words and God's worship means, I can share even deeper things with others, too.

So bring it on! More, Lord! Deeper, Lord! Fresh revelation of You!


(To both Betty and Stephen - thanks. In your comments I experienced true fellowship - the sharing of conversation (in this instance) about God that spurred me on in my relationship with Him. Cool. May you be blessed for it!)

Are you a blogger? Do you ever feel like you've run dry of creative and thought-provoking things to say? Do you ever rebel against writing things that cater to readers' desire to see something either comedic or controversial?

I am / have / do.

Actually, I feel dry. Dry of anything creative or inspiring to say. I often feel a little like a broken record:

"Praise the Lord, He is worthy to be praised."
"Live your life as worship."
"Go deep."
"Don't hold anything back."
"Break out of the molds that we have been raised in to understand God's worship better."
"Worship is more than what we DO, it's intended to be WHO WE ARE."
"Worship is more than just music."

and my most common (though unapologetically still my favourite):

"God's worthiness to be worshipped never changes."

So what's lacking in me that I repeat myself ad naseum (as I'm sure it seems to many)?

Nothing. Really nothing. I have a message. I have a commission from the Lord to teach and to worship and to lead the church (or as much of the church as the Lord gives me a voice to) into a deeper understanding of worship. A deeper desire for worship. Actually, I myself will obviously never achieve that, but being an instrument through which God is available to work this message is what I'm supposed to do.

Repetition of solid truths never hurt anyone. It's one of the main ways I've learned things in my life, I think.

So, what's your message? And big picture - what's our message as the church of the Living God? Time is short. Ad naseum had better be OK until we get it and everyone around us gets it.

And so just what is it?

Love God with abandon.
Love others with selflessness.

One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"

I had lunch with a friend today and as we talked of many different situations going on in our lives, I realized that in regards to many of my own life's situations I was forced to remark that I am powerless to effect change or understand the perfect next move. My comment seemed more than once to be, "I am left with only intercession, and that's OK."

Thinking about it a little more now, it seems a gross understatement. Of COURSE it's OK. It's more than probably where it all should have started in the first place. It's not a place I particularly like - that place where I know that none of my own efforts can have the effect that I desire to see - but it is a place that forces greater reliance on God's power and will. I do like that. And what I like more is that it gives rise to greater opportunities to see His hand move and His will accomplished.

I am glad that there are places in my life where God has allowed me to be "in a corner" and relying only on Him to see things done and guidance for wisdom received.

I wonder if I'll ever be in a place in my faith where I'll choose to start in the corner?

OK, so someone suggested this morning that I put a couple of stamps on myself and mail myself to where they are.

Their logic was that I would fit in the mailbox.

I'm not sure if that's complimentary that they want me where they are, or rather the opposite because they believe I would only be slightly cramped in the mailbox.

I have weird friends.....
:)