Frilly.

One word - that's all it takes to describe my apartment. Frilly. In slightly more than one word, you could describe it as "Grandma's Place." Probably not a flattering description for someone with no kids and no possibility of being anywhere near old enough to be a grandma.

You see, I like antiques. I like antique furniture and antique knick-knacks and antique styles. Victorian is my favourite, closely followed by Edwardian (at least for furniture). I love things with a story behind them - the fact that someone else owned a piece of furniture or wrote in an old Bible is fascinating to me.

Someone coming to my place for the first time is often quite shocked, though that always surprises me. Perhaps it's because I have a nose-ring, ever-changing weird hair colours and I don't wear a lot of lace or a corset (whew!). But even with that being what I look like - I have a frilly apartment. I changed my furniture around this past weekend and, if at all possible, it got more frilly. (I seriously can't figure out how .... it boggles the mind).

Occasionally it concerns me, this frilly fetish that I have developed. I sometimes worry that when people come to my place they will be uncomfortable, though who could be uncomfortable at Grandma's place?!? I have a friend named Dan who is a body builder - big guy, nicest guy you'll ever meet - and the first time he came and sat on my frilly white Victorian couches and drank coffee out of a pink mug (oh yes) and used a coaster with flowers on it that was placed on a carved-legged table with a doily on it, I wanted to redecorate. It looked off somehow, and he looked uncomfortable.

Now, his discomfort was probably my own perception and not really reality, but it struck me that we often do this in life - we gauge our own worth and acceptability against the reactions of others, or worse yet, the perceived reactions of others. There is something in the way that God uniquely created me that enjoys the beauty of ornate furniture that is made of real wood and has been loved and cared for by people for decades before it came to me. I don't really know why that is who I am, but I hope and pray that I don't choose to hide that for fear of what others may think of me. The truth is that I am rather a girly-girl at heart (OK, I could have left out "rather") and it is totally OK that this is who I am.

It's also OK to be the one that God made you to be - the gifts and talents and loves. It's not OK to be satisfied with the brokenness or the sin in your life - that is not God's abundance being lived out, and it will not bring His name glory. But God loves the person that I am, and it's totally OK for me to be that person that God designed - frilly and all.

And if I ever marry someone who has a passion for IKEA furniture, it will be OK for him to be who he is. But I think you'd better pray for us....